December 18, 2009

You know you're in your 3rd trimester when...

You wear your slippers to town because they are easier to get on than your winter boots

You can barely wipe yourself after using the bathroom!!

You get frustrated that you have to pee SOOOO badly, but then only a trickle comes out! And then you have to attempt to wipe after each little trickle?!

You quit shaving your legs & you could care less

You ask your husband for a pedicure gift certificate for Christmas

You take your shoes off for the rest of the day (at work) just becuase getting in trouble by the boss would be better than trying to tie your shoe for a second time that day.

You have moments of pure panic thinking that little one will actually be here in a few weeks

You start planning out rediculous ways to coax little one to come early - this is usually followed by the moment of panic I mentioned above

You ask your 7 year old to tie your shoes

You've mastered the art of cleaning a room by picking things up with your feet to avoid bending over

You have dropped something on the floor and yell for help!

It takes you almost 5 minutes to move to your side to get comfortable and then seconds later your uncomfortable and want to move again!

You don't know you have the same pairs of shoes on!

You can't put socks on!

Everytime you say "Oh" and breath a little different your husband looks at you and asks if you are ok or if you need to go to the hospital

Rolling over in bed has become a carefully orchestrated 4-step process

The new way you use to get yourself up off the floor leaves everyone in the room laughing

You laugh, cough, or sneeze you seem to pee a little

Everyone starts asking you if you've had "that baby" yet

You drop food on your belly and can't see it!

You have to move the seat back to avoid your belly hitting the steering wheel while you drive and then if you drive a stick you have to move your seat forward again so you can reach to shift over your big belly. It's an endless/vicious cycle!

Your new fav shoes are slip ons

You find yourself, more often than not, leaving stuff that fell on the floor there because it's just too trying to attempt to pick it up.

You curse yourself for putting your purse on the floor in the car because it's sooooooo far to bend down and get it

You have to lean back while sitting on the toilet because if you dont you cant breathe

You're belly is bigger than your husband's belly

Your socks are literally strangling your fat feet

You get heartburn from water

You have a hard time getting off of the a turtle trying to flip back over when it's on it's shell

You can no longer see the little cup you have to pee into at the doctor's office and end up going all over your hand

Everytime you go near the kitchen sink, the bottom of your belly gets wet because it touches the counter.

Everytime you brush you teeth you have to change you shirt because of the wet spot on your chest from leaning over to rinse

People take a couple steps back just to look at you

The simple act of putting on socks or rubbing lotion on your belly leaves you completely out of breath and sweating

You want to strangle the next person who asks how you're feeling

You sit down at the table to eat supper and when you go to get up your belly hits the edge of the table and you get stuck! Or you go out to eat and sit in a booth and you have to wedge yourself in.

You and your husband go to hug or kiss and you can't reach because your bellies are hitting one another and keeping you apart

You get a back ache from bending over just that little bit to wash the dishes in the sink.

You need your husband's help getting your pants on in the morning, not the mention underwear, socks, and shoes.

You no longer cuddle with your husband because he gets in the way of the pillow placements.

You burn your belly on the stove while cooking